I have felt suicidal many times in my life. Sometimes it’s because something terrible has happened to me and sometimes it’s because of severe symptoms of depression, psychosis or mania. Sometimes it’s all these things combined.
Experts say the dangerous receipe for suicidal tendencies is a mix of loneliness, sadness, hopelessness and feeling like you are a burden on others. These emotions can feel so intense and your situation seems like it will never get better but never forget that thoughts and emotions are temporary. Your life circumstances last a bit longer than thoughts and emotions but if you reach out to the right people, you can also change the people in your life, start earning a better living and learn to either recover from a mental illness or better cope with the symptoms. Sadly, this takes time and you need all your mental energy to stop yourself from attempting suicide.
Suicide is one of the most tragic ways to die. It seems like the only option sometimes but you have to hold on. The world needs you. You can use your story to help others like we are trying to do with MadNarrative. You can find a new tribe and be forever grateful that you are still on this earth.
I still have thoughts of death when I go near the places I have considered and places where I nearly attempted suicide. These places make my eyes water slightly, first with the origin of a tear of sadness, then a tear of happiness that I am still alive, then a tear of pride in my strength to persevere. I pass these places nearly every day, I can’t avoid them.
As a teenager, I lost two friends to suicide, me and several friends self-harmed and I called an ambulance for a friend who attempted to take her own life. It was really hard to deal with while also trying to work, study and cope with boyfriend issues while coming out to a lot of people.
I now have hope that I can have a lasting legacy through a bit of ‘mad’ mental health activism.
Remember, when sharing stories about suicide, it’s important to focus on what you can do to help rather than the method and location of suicide. We deeply need to talk more about suicide. You can also do Mental Health First Aid and ASIST courses for a modest fee to help prevent suicide by people you know or meet. For a quick free online course on mental health and suicide prevention, check out PROP.
By the Mad Unicorn.
If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call a helpline now.