Ever since I first saw male and female anatomy, I knew which one I preferred. This should never had an impact on my mental health but it did. My gayness is one huge source of strength and gives me permission to flaunt my fabulousness in so many settings today. But bullies at school, casual homophobia that is still so common and institutionalised homophobia like the Turnbull/Abbott postal survey can be directly linked to some of my episodes of illnesses.
My sexuality has also been affected by how I was treated in hospital. Scheduled for a range of mental illnesses, I was mistreated by hospital staff and fellow patients. Some of this treatment constitutes sexual assault and abuse but I was so heavily medicated and psychotic that I can’t put together my memories in enough order to bring a case against anyone. I do remember one thing vividly but it’s very sadly not a crime because I was assaulted while people were restraining me.
As the world starts to slowly become tolerant and then accepting, gayness will be an even bigger strength. We have a great community that supports it’s young. We have access to services like headspace queer groups, MindOUT and QLife (call them on 1800 184 527 if this article triggers you). We also have societies permission to be different and celebrate those differences publicly at Pride events. But we must all get a little bit madder. Mad at what the bastards of the past did to our mental and psychical health and even madder about what is happening to us now here and in more religious or intolerant countries (check out All Out to help).
For more context on me, the mad unicorn, see my first post